i'm offended

So yeah... lately I have been trying really hard to spend more time with my friends and boyfriend together. Right before Halloween, I invited Allegra and Sarah to come to CT with Adam, Kevin, and I. They came, we had a BLAST... at least I did! So then a few weeks ago, Allegra had a party in her room. I brought Adam, Kevin, and Jeff to the party. Allegra and I got pretty drunk, we kissed a few times. She and Kevin (also very drunk) kissed more than a few times. Anywhoo, she's hosting a late night porn party tomorrow. I emailed her to make sure everything was on for Fri and mentioned the guys, who I was under the impression that I could invite. Big mistake. Apparently, she "had a couple of people mention specifically kevin and co. as making them uncomfortable. I'm sure Adam would be ok." Well, I don't know which is worse, the fact that they feel uncomfortable by a big bumbling guy who's less harmful than a kitten or the fact that they're okay talking about my friends behind my back. I'm so hurt by the thought of what could have been said that I can't even go to Beebe for dinner tonight because I don't want to face them. I'd rather starve than risk breaking down again. This is a really bad time for this shit. This week I am REALLY stressed about school, I'm PMSing, I had horrendous dreams last n ight aboout Adam's other girlfriend, and now I have to put up with this bullshit from the people who I thought were my friends. Oh well... teaches me right for trying to devote time to friends and love. I made plans to hang out with the guys and I'm not ditching them for a croup of caddy, back talking girls who might decide to say I make them feel uncomfortable next time around.