streeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss

This weekend has not been terribly wonderful. I have been a killer bitch to my boyfriend and I won't be surprised if he never wants to see me again. I have a presentation tomorrow and a paper due Tuesday which I know I can get through, no problem. It's the rest of the week I am flipping out about. Wed and Thurs are empty but I have two exams and a paper to do on/by Friday. I have a feeling that my bitchiness will not subside. It's 4:30 on Sunday, I want to watch football and cuddle with Adam to make sure he knows I don't truly hate him, but I have to finish this damned powerpoint. Gah! Oh well, the sooner I get it done, the sooner I can go be with him. Hopefully he doesn't hate me...I'm bitchy because of PMS and because I can't help but think about the fact that I have to go home in a week and a half. :( Going home is NOT what's bothering me. Going home for 2 1/2 weeks is what's bothering me. I have to spend New Year's Eve at home and I want nothing more than to be with Adam. I know Amber will want to go out, but if I can't be out with Adam, I'm not going out at all... but I know he doesn't feel the same way. I know he and Kevin are already talking about going into Boston to hit the clubs and ring in the New Year the right way (since they're both legal and all). I'm so afraid that he will get drunk and spend the whole night checking out "hot" girls with Kevin. What if he meets the girl of his dreams on NYE? What if he calls me while I'm at home and breaks up with me for good? What if he realizes once and for all that he's too good for me? I just want to change everything and come back to spend it with him. I realized on Friday morning how much I love him and how I can't stand the thought of spending a single day without him. That's why I am so worried about him going out on NYE. I want him to stay at home with Kevin, have a few beers, and play Madden or something -- but I can't tell him that. DAMNIT, why do I have to be so FUCKING self conscious. In my mind, I will never be good enough for anyone; there will always be some girl better. I fear every day that Adam will find the other girl. :'( Now that I am crying, I think I will go work on my WOST presentation...