bored

Bored out of my mind. I've been at work for 7.5 hours and I am ready to kill myself. I get off in 25 min. I am totally in the mood to go see a movie tonight and I think the winner may be Brokeback Mountain... but I need a date. I sent Nicole a message to see if she wants to hang out but I have heard nothing. Adam is in Hopedale (and probably doesn't wanna see the gay cowboy movie) and I don't think anyone else with a car is around. :( I'm sad now. I am in the mood to go out to dinner and go to the movie but I am beginning to wonder whether or not it will happen tonight. Oh well. Here's to pure boredom!

Grades!

So, grades are in! I passed! As I was fully expecting no higher than a D in my Bio class, I was pleasantly surprised when I received a satisfactory grade. The rest of my grades were MUCH better than Bio (as I had expected) but I will live with my around average grades for another semester. Shove it up your ass Wellesley. You and your below perfect grades can go fuck yourself! :) Back on campus and ready to die already. I get off work in 8 minutes to return to a frigid dorm room with no cable or food. Here's to fun times! I may have to call Adam re: grocery shopping. We'll see. Kisses to all!Oh, and p.s., sorry about the cornflakes Kate. Hope future LJ posts are less grotesque than the last! What can I say? I'm in love!! <3

In 2005, I...

So, I found the list on Nicole's LJ and I must complete it...In 2005, I...{x} broke a promise.{x} made a new friend.{x} fell in love{ } fell out of love{ } done something you swore never to do{x} lied{x} stole{ } went behind your parents back{x} cried over a broken heart{x} disappointed someone close{x} hidden a secret{x} pretended to be happy{ } got arrested{x} kissed in the rain{ } slept under the stars{ } kept your new years resolution{x} forgot your new years resolution{x} met someone who changed your life{ } met one of your idols{x} changed your outlook on life{x} sat home all day doing nothing{x} pretended to be sick{ } left the country{ } almost died{ } gave up something important to you{ } lost something expensive{x} learned something new about yourself{x} tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it{x} made a change in your life{X} found out who your true friends were.{x} made a total fool of yourself{x} met great people{x} enjoyed your year to the fullest no matter how weird, crazy, stupid, or abnormal you looked while doing itWow! I left a l ot to be desired! Oh well. Here's to a bigger, better, and happier New Year (although I don't think I could be any happier or more in love with Adam!! Yay! :) 3.5 more days!!

oh wow

So... NYE sucked ass, I cried uncontrollably for much of the evening and felt better only after I talked to Adam on the phone and heard how his evening was. At least one of us got to have fun. I have already decided, I WILL NOT be in TN for NYE next year. I will be in MA with Adam and will ring in my first legal New Year the right way. Geeez. So then, I got in a huge fight with my mom and made her cry on New Years Day, I was lied to, taken advantage of, and forced to rearrange my day and my plans because "shit happens" and she didn't want to come home yet. Yes, they stayed out again ALL fUCKING night. The only thing my mother said to me when I dropped Jaelyn off, because I was going out with Amber, was "Are you coming home tonight?" I said I didn't know but that I had packed a bag to sleep over. "Well, I think we need to talk" she says. Well you can take whatever you have to say and shove it up your... never mind. Obviously I was pissed. I did, in fact, stay at Amber's and did not come home until dinner time on Monday night. I was asked not only to buy pizza (which I had eaten for lunch) but I was also asked to bake cookies for the family at 11 at night. Then my mom and I "talked" which consisted of her screaming at me while I said "Are you going to let me defend myself or not?" I made her cry when she told me to apologize and I asked why. We both made our points and why should I have to be the one to apologize? I made plans around hers and she took advantage of me and lied to me. I thought she should apologize. In the end, neither of us did. I am so tired of being at home. I am trying to keep myself really busy these next few days so that it will pass by a little quicker. Today= lunch with Kitty, the afternoon with Ellen, and maybe dinner with Ellen and BrandonTomorrow=?? I hope that we can go see Kevin tomorrow afternoon so I can check up on him and Jaelyn can get her hair cut. I think Amber will want to go over to Amanda's so that everyone can say bye before I leave. Thursday= laundry and packingFriday= interviews 8am-7pm, leaving for ATL around 8Saturday= a day with Dad. Carl is in Tampa. I have to go to bed killer early since I have an 8:15a flight to BOS. Sunday= the day my dreams come true. I'll be back in my baby's arms! I'm so freakin' excited!!I can't wait to go. I love my family, but this has been the worst vacation of my life. Gah!

legality rocks!

I so just got my drivers license. It rocks. That is all!

legality rocks!

I so just got my drivers license. It rocks. That is all!

home sweet home

Oh, home sweet home. Fighting with parents, getting guilt trips from my sister, and sitting back and watching my best friend make a HUGE mistake. Let's discuss...stepdad's an asshole, mom's depressed -- these make me want to leave home and never come back... so I leave home for a few days and then come back. jaelyn starts acting badly and blames it on "missing sissy" when she gets in trouble. Mom and dad throw it in my face. when I'm not at home, I am at Amber's. She is planning to get married to Clay a man with whom she is not in love. She loves Jimmy who will not marry her but is tired of being a single mom, so she's willing to marry Clay. Clay is AMAZING. He is so sweet and sincere. He thinks the world of Amber, is willing to buy her a new house (5 bedroom, 3 bathroom) and a very expensive engagement ring, is fully in love with her, and she made him cry today when she told him that she doesn't want to get married anymore. As Adam has said, somebody's gonna get hurt. I'm home for the first time in days and it's okay for now, but that's only because my parents and sister are already in bed. I'm having lunch with Ellen tomorrow, lunch with Charlotte on Friday, maybe going to see Amber Friday night, babysitting Saturday night because I want to spend NYE alone if I can't be with Adam, shopping Monday with Amber, lunch with Kitty Tuesday, lunch with MJ Wednesday, packing Thursday, interviews Friday, then back to Atlanta and one day closer to being with my sweetie again. I miss him soooo much! I can't stand this city much longer. I need Hopedale back!! I need a happy family back! I can't wait until Marsha's birthday so I can see everybody again. Le Sigh. One week down, one and a half weeks to go. I'm getting there...

at home

So, I have been home for less than 72 hours and I am ready to leave now. Came home wicked late on Wed night, slept in on Thursday, birthday celebrations Thursday night, fight with mom, left home for a while without telling mom, slept in Friday, out to Nanny's Friday night... then it happened. My mom and dad asked me to babysit so they could go out for a bit. When I get up at 7:15 this morning (after not sleeping all night) they still aren't home. I call mom, yell at her, they tell me they'll be home soon... 4 hours later they finally walk in. My mother says, "If you think you need to go out today, you can. Just don't be gone all night. It is Christmas Eve you know..." Oh no you didn't. Yeah, unlike SOME people I know, I will be home tonight, just like every other night. New Years is coming up. Bryce, Amanda, Meggen, JR, Amber, Brandy, Clay, Jimmy, and all the other red necks want me to come spend the night with them getting drunk... I want to stay home. But I know if I stay home, my parents will take off again and I don't want a repeat of last night. DAMNIT... I wanna go back to Wellesley. This place bites ass. Checking ticket prices for this week... wonder what a one way ticket will cost me. Everywhere I look, I see the happy couples and I want nothing more than to strangle every single one of them. Damn you people.

excuse me?!?

Now remember, I don't cure much... unless I'm really upset. This wonderful entry is in response to a post on sofrlowi's journal (and I sent this to her in an email as well)...I can politely lick your asshole? That's a pretty bitchy thing to say. I must admit, you're not quite the person I once thought you were. You're busting your balls to reconcile? I was the one who JUMPED at the opportunity to hang out with you for dinner that night and tried my damnedest not to mention me and Adam because I knew you wouldn't want to hear it. Look, I have already apologized for missing your party. I feel wicked bad, okay? Do I need to apologize again? I asked when you were leaving so that I might be able to see you a time or two before you go. I'm sorry this semester didn't go so great for you but there is no reason to target me. I have done nothing to deserve a load of your shit. You want to be friends again? You pushed me so far away this summer and I must admit that your bitchy little livejournal doesn't help. I didn't blow you off on Friday I forgot. Genuinely... I was stressed and no one ever mentioned it again until we ran into Melissa in Boston on Saturday and she said something about it... Reading that shit hurts. I have NEVER said anything like that about you and I never will, no matter how much you piss me off. I thought you were so much more mature than posting shitty comments about me on an internet forum... way to be a grown up. I don't know what else to say to you Nicole. Whatever... feel free to call me, but please don't expect me to do so. I apologized, I feel bad, and I truly wanted to hang out with you in January before you leave, but if you're going to talk shit about me when I genuinely did nothing, I don't know what I can do. My hands are tied. Good luck with the rest of your work, and good luck in Spain. I truly hope you have a blast.

sigh

I am getting ready to go shopping and try to buy the last of my Christmas presents. Last night I had to say goodbye to Allegra for what could be one of the last times I see her. She's leaving for Italy in less than a month, won't be at Wellesley this Spring and is considering taking next fall off. I was about ready to cry outside the little Italian bakery we went to for dessert. :( Good luck to her in all her travels and I will truly miss her more than anyone will ever know. As for last night, things got a little awkward. Adam and Kevin and I were walking form the car to the restaurant when we heard someone scream "ADAM!!" We turn around and who is it but Melissa. You know, the ex-girlfriend that I am greatly intimidated by. All because one night last year she told Nicole when they were drunk that she had Adam wrapped around her little finger and if she wanted to fuck him all she'd have to do is name the place and time... yeah, that ex-girlfriend. She seems really cool and really nice but I couldn't help but feel awkward when she ran up to the three of us and proceeded to hug ALL THREE OF US!! I've never met her and she hugged me. Now, I have no problem whatsoever with that, but it caught me off guard and was more than a little weird. Of all the places in Boston/the North End, she was sitting on the sidewalk we were walking down. What a coincidence. I apparently got really quiet when we walked away and I didn't mean to. It didn't "get to me" but it was just weird. Oh well, I'm moving on! Time to shop!! :)

I'M DONEEEEEEEEEE

Yay!! I am so done! I took my Bio exam this morning, finished my gender paper, took my poli sci exam in the afternoon, submitted my paper, and got the hell outta dodge... all on about 3 hours of sleep! w00t. I'm off campus and planning to have one helluva weekend. Oohh and I found out I got an A- on my Bio paper. Only me. I am such a bullshitter, He says to me "I drastically underestimated your writing capabilities." Haha, you mean since I failed your last final you thought I was stupid? This is Wellesley, hello!! I'm not stupid, I can just bullshit really well and pull a 9 page paper out of my ass in about 5 hours (while hanging out with my friends). Yay! At least now I know I'll get credit for Bio. That's all that matters! Off I go to crawl into bed and snuggle with my sweetie, if I can pull him away from the PS2. Tomorrow= sleeping in, watching football, having dinner in Boston with the girls. Sunday=sleeping in and shopping. Monday= sleeping in and shopping. Tuesday= maybe sleeping in, maybe shopping, and definitely returning to Wellesley to pack. Wednesday= sadness... I'm leaving my baby. :'(

I should be studying, but I'm not!

Put an X by the movies you've seen.If you get more than 70, you're a movie whore.(x) Pirates of the Caribbean( ) Boondock Saints(x) The Mexican(x) Fight Club(x) Starsky and Hutch(x) Neverending Story( ) Blazing Saddles(x) Garden State(x) The Princess Bride( ) Young Frankenstien(x) Anchorman(x) Napoleon Dynamite( ) Saw( ) White Noise(x) White Oleander(x) Anger ManagementTotal here: 11(x) 50 First Dates( ) Jason X(x) Scream(x) Scream 2(x) Scream 3(x) Scary Movie(x) Scary Movie 2(x) Scary Movie 3(x) American Pie(x) American Pie 2(x) American Wedding(x) Harry Potter(x) Harry Potter 2( ) Harry Potter 3( ) Harry Potter 4( ) Resident Evil( ) Resident Evil 2(x) The Wedding Singer(x) Little Black BookTotal Here: 14( ) The Village(x) Donnie Darko(x) Lilo & Stitch(x) Finding Nemo( ) Finding Neverland( ) 13 Ghosts(x) Signs(x) The Grinch( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original)(x) White Chicks( ) Butterfly Effect(x) 13 Going On 30( ) I Robot(x) Dodgeball( ) Universal Soldier(x) Lemony Snickets A Series Of Unfortunate Events(x) Along Came Polly(x) Deep ImpactTotal here: 11(x) Kingpin(x) Never Been Kissed(x) Meet The Parents(x) Meet the Fockers(x) Eight Crazy Nights(x) A Cinderella Story(x) The Terminal(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie( ) Passport to Paris(x) Dumb & Dumber( ) Dumb & Dumberer(x) Final Destination(x) Final Destination 2( ) Halloween( ) The Ring( ) The Ring 2( ) Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle(x) Practical Magic(x) Chicago( ) Ghost Ship( ) From Hell( ) Hellboy( ) Secret Window( ) I Am Sam(x) The Whole Nine Yards(x) The Whole Ten Yards(x) The Day After Tomorrow( ) Child's Play( ) Bride of Chucky(x) Ten Things I Hate About You(x) Just Married(x) Gothika( ) Nightmare on Elm Street(x) Sixteen Candles(x) Bad Boys(x) Bad Boys 2(x) Joy Ride(x) Seven (SE7EN)(x) Ocean's Eleven(x) Ocean's Twelve(x) IdentityTotal here: 27( ) Lone Star(x) Predator( ) Predator II(x) Independence Day(x) Cujo( ) A Bronx Tale( ) Darkness Falls( ) Christine(x) ET( ) Children of the Corn( ) My Boss' Daughter(x) Maid in Manhattan( ) Frailty( ) Best of the Best(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days(x) She's All That (x) Calendar Girls(x) Sideways( ) Mars AttacksTotal here: 9( ) Event Horizon(x) Ever After(x) Forrest Gump( ) Big Trouble in Little China(x) X-men( ) X-men 2(x) Catch Me If You Can(x) The Others(x) Freaky Friday (the original)( ) Reign of Fire(x) The Hot Chick( ) Swimfan( ) Miracle(x) Old School(x) Ray(x) The Notebook(x) K-PaxTotal here: 11( ) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers( ) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King(x) A Walk to Remember( ) Boogeyman(x) Hitch( ) The Fifth Element(x) Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace( ) Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones( ) Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith( ) Star Wars episode IV A New Hope( ) Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back( ) Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedi( ) Troop Beverly Hills( ) Swimming with Sharks( ) Air Force One(x) For Richer or Poorer(x) Trainspotting( ) People Under the Stairs( ) Blue Velvet(x) Sound of Music(x) Parent Trap (original)( ) The Burbs(x) The Terminator(x) Empire Records( ) SLC Punk(x) Meet Joe Black( ) Wild Things( ) A Clockwork Orange( ) The Order(x) Spiderman(x) Spiderman 2( ) AmelieTotal here: 12(x) Mean Girls(x) Shrek(x) Shrek 2(x) The Incredibles(x) Collateral(x) The Fast & The Furious(x) 2 Fast 2 Furious( ) Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow(x) CloserTotal here: 8(x) Titanic(x) Saved(x) Bowling for Columbine(x) Farenheit 9/11(x) The Sixth Sense(x) Artificial Intelligence (AI)(x) Love Actually( ) Auto Focus(x) Ella Enchanted(x) Princess Diaries(x) Princess Diaries 2( ) Constantine( ) Million Dollar Baby( ) Envy(x) Eurotrip( ) Malibu's Most Wanted(x) Big Daddy(x) Black Sheep(x) The Breakfast Club( ) West Side StoryTotal here: 13(x) A Christmas Story( ) Spanglish(x) Pulp Fiction( ) Sleepover( ) Evil Dead( ) Killer Klowns from Outer Space( ) The Seed of Chucky(x) Vanilla Sky(x) Nightmare Before Christmas(x) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind(x) Interview with the Vampire( ) The Crow(x) Purple Rain( ) Reservoir Dogs( ) Wayne's WorldTotal here: 7( ) Wayne's World 2( ) 21 Grams( ) Blow(x) Edward Scissorhands(x) Clerks(x) Beauty and the Beast( ) Guess Who(x) Monster-in-Law( ) Elf(x) Stuart Little(x) Stuart Little 2(x) Mallrats(x) Chasing Amy(x) Dogma(x) Jay & Silent Bob Strike BackTotal here: 10(x) Beetlejuice( ) The Last Samurai(x) The Amityville Horror( ) The Aviator(x) Romeo and Juliet(x) Barbershop( ) Barbershop 2(x) Beauty Shop(x) Legally Blonde(x) Legally Blonde 2( ) The Forgotten(x) Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen( ) GrudgeTotal here: 8grand total= 141Wow. Thanks Alisha for the insane amount of procrastination materials that you provide! I am more than a movie whore, I am the Madame of the movie brothel!! On your knees you lowly whores!! :)

can't concentrate

So, I know that I have two finals in the next 48 hours, but I can seem to convince myself that I need to study. I think this is a bad sign. You see... for my Urban Pol class, the less I study, the better my grade. The last exam was an A. I will review some stuff tomorrow afternoon and then move on to Bio. Bio will kill me, if I decide to study. Sccording to the professor, I need higher than a 52 on the exam to pass the course... I think I can handle that! Hehe! As for the gender paper: 5-7 pages and I have four already. Once I add citations and a little opinion I will be good to go. Oh did I mention I was really bummed about my last gender paper on adoption?? That's the lowest social science grade I have gotten all semester. I got a B. I was sad, until I got yelled at by Joan because she thought by the way I led up to it that I had failed or something. Apparently, I am turning into a PoliSci "that girl." Haha! I love it. I officially suck at life. :)Adam kicked my ass at Madden and made me stop playing because I was being a bitch. Oops... guess I ruined that game. He was beating me 20-0 at half time. So sad... This weekend when I have a stress level of ZERO, I think we should play again. Then I can just have fun and not fret about it. Maybe I'll even beat him again! We'll see!

can't sleep

I can't sleep so I am trying bore myself to death!! Here goes:TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey- Name: Karensa- Birthday: June 30, 1985- Birthplace: Urbana, IL- Current Location: Wellesley, MA- Eye Color: hazel- Hair Color: blonde- Height: 5'10ish"- Right Handed or Left Handed: right- Your Heritage: English, Scottish (hence the MacGregor)- The Shoes You Wore Today: pink sneaks to class and work then hot boots to the mall- Your Weakness: sex- Your Fears: losing the ones I love, failing- Your Perfect Pizza: chicken and onion- Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: since this year is almost over, just pass my classes. As for nect year-- be a better girlfriend and lose 30 pounds- Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: haha- Thoughts First Waking Up: I'm alone in this bed. This sucks.- Your Best Physical Feature: tits- Your Bedtime: midnight (unless I'm with Adam, then it's 2am)- Your Most Missed Memory: first year of college with the McAfee Mafia- Pepsi or Coke: Dr Pepper (but if I had to pick, Coke)- MacDonalds or Burger King: BK all the way- Single or Group Dates: single and THREE'S A CROWD!!!- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither, fresh brewed southern style sweet tea- Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate- Cappuccino or Coffee: Starbucks Peppermint Mocha- Do you Smoke: no- Do you Swear: hell yeah- Do you Sing: LOOOOOOVE IT!!- Do you Shower Daily: yeppers!- Have you Been in Love: yes- Do you want to go to College: I'm there buddy!- Do you want to get Married: absolutely- Do you belive in yourself: usually... like right now. I believe that I will sleep eventually!- Do you get Motion Sickness: sometimes- Do you think you are Attractive: not particularly- Are you a Health Freak: not really. I know I'm "obese" but I'm workin' on it little by little- Do you get along with your Parents: which one? The gay one? The bisexual one? or the cool mom who likes to show up at the same club I'm at with my best friend and watch me get a lap dance by the stripper...- Do you like Thunderstorms: OMG... I love them!!- Do you play an Instrument: back in 5th grade- In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes- In the past month have you Smoked: absolutely not- In the past month have you been on Drugs: only caffiene, ibuprofen, and life- In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes I have!! :)- In the past month have you gone to a Mall: I went tonight...- In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: A whole box, no, but I have eaten quite a few of them- In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes- In the past month have you been on Stage: no- In the past month have you been Dumped: no- In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no- In the past month have you Stolen Anything: only a man's heart!- Ever been Drunk: yes- Ever been called a Tease: yes- Ever been Beaten up: no- Ever Shoplifted: only if you count the pen from the cash register at Walmart- How do you want to Die: in my baby's arms- What do you want to be when you Grow Up: sucessful and happy- What country would you most like to Visit: FranceIn a Boy/Girl..- Favorite Eye Color: blue- Favorite Hair Color: blond- Short or Long Hair: short and clean cut- Height: taller than me is nice but not really necessary- Weight: fit- Best Clothing Style: all american- Number of Drugs I have taken: none- Number of CDs I own: too many- Number of Piercings: 2 currently, 5 total- Number of Tattoos: 1- Number of things in my Past I Regret: a few... they all have to do with things I have done to/with boys or things I have not done to/with girls. Go figure...

whew

Yay!! Classes are OVER!!! I finished my ethics term paper today and submitted it. Who knows how the hell I did?!? Oh well. Now I have appx 9 chapters of Urban Politics to read and summarize by tomorrow night so I can shift to Bio on Thursday and study my ass off all night. During this time, I also have a term paper and policy to propose for my Gender class. Eeekkk... I have faith in myself. It will all get done! Now to bed. Up early to work for a few hours, then to Adam's to help him finish his stuff for school and going to see Christmas lights with Mr. and Mrs. DiFonzo. Working sporadically and back tomorrow night to cram. :) In 62 hours and fifty seven minutes I will be DONE with my fifth semester at Wellesley College!! :)

go away

God Damn... two presentations down, one paper down, one paper half done, one paper and two exams to go! My list is beginning to shrink and I like it! Is it wrong of me to not want to study for my finals? I didn't do any of the readings or study for more than an hour for section two of one class and I got an A on the second midterm, and I study like hell for the other class and continue to fail miserably... I don't know how productive I am going to be this week, but it's not looking too promising. I think when I finish this paper tonight, I am going to lie in bed and watch Dukes for a few hours. Fuck Urban Politics. I went to my last class, I ate pizza, I took notes, and I only fell asleep for 15 minutes! The exam is four questions... FOUR!! Well, we'll see what tomorrow brings. :)

streeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss

This weekend has not been terribly wonderful. I have been a killer bitch to my boyfriend and I won't be surprised if he never wants to see me again. I have a presentation tomorrow and a paper due Tuesday which I know I can get through, no problem. It's the rest of the week I am flipping out about. Wed and Thurs are empty but I have two exams and a paper to do on/by Friday. I have a feeling that my bitchiness will not subside. It's 4:30 on Sunday, I want to watch football and cuddle with Adam to make sure he knows I don't truly hate him, but I have to finish this damned powerpoint. Gah! Oh well, the sooner I get it done, the sooner I can go be with him. Hopefully he doesn't hate me...I'm bitchy because of PMS and because I can't help but think about the fact that I have to go home in a week and a half. :( Going home is NOT what's bothering me. Going home for 2 1/2 weeks is what's bothering me. I have to spend New Year's Eve at home and I want nothing more than to be with Adam. I know Amber will want to go out, but if I can't be out with Adam, I'm not going out at all... but I know he doesn't feel the same way. I know he and Kevin are already talking about going into Boston to hit the clubs and ring in the New Year the right way (since they're both legal and all). I'm so afraid that he will get drunk and spend the whole night checking out "hot" girls with Kevin. What if he meets the girl of his dreams on NYE? What if he calls me while I'm at home and breaks up with me for good? What if he realizes once and for all that he's too good for me? I just want to change everything and come back to spend it with him. I realized on Friday morning how much I love him and how I can't stand the thought of spending a single day without him. That's why I am so worried about him going out on NYE. I want him to stay at home with Kevin, have a few beers, and play Madden or something -- but I can't tell him that. DAMNIT, why do I have to be so FUCKING self conscious. In my mind, I will never be good enough for anyone; there will always be some girl better. I fear every day that Adam will find the other girl. :'( Now that I am crying, I think I will go work on my WOST presentation...

horrible

Today was what I would call an interesting day that got off to a HORRIBLE start... Last night, I went out with Nicole for Chinese to play catch up which was cool and I re-organized my dorm room (again). No mention of why it was horrible, just that everything is better now. :) ~~sigh~~ I love my sweetie. Now I have my airfare to go home which I am both happy and sad about. I get to see my sissy and my Amber, but I have to go for 2 1/2 weeks without seeing my baby... So sad. :'( Tomorrow will be good! PARTY in Boston. Yay. Goodnight moon. I am going down cellar to watch a movie with Adam, Kevin, and Jeff. Song du jour:NewsongThe Christmas ShoesIt was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another lineTryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas moodStanding right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiouslyPacing 'round like little boys doAnd in his hands he held a pair of shoes His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toeAnd when it came his time to payI couldn't believe what I heard him say Chorus:Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, pleaseIt's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her sizeCould you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much timeYou see she's been sick for quite a whileAnd I know these shoes would make her smileAnd I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight He counted pennies for what seemed like yearsThen the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"He searched his pockets franticallyThen he turned and he looked at meHe said Mama made Christmas good at our houseThough most years she just did withoutTell me Sir, what am I going to do,Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out I'll never forget the look on his face when he saidMama's gonna look so great Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, pleaseIt's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her sizeCould you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much timeYou see she's been sick for quite a whileAnd I know these shoes would make her smileAnd I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight Bridge:I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's loveAs he thanked me and ran outI knew that God had sent that little boyTo remind me just what Christmas is all about Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, pleaseIt's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her sizeCould you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much timeYou see she's been sick for quite a whileAnd I know these shoes would make her smileAnd I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

better

Okay, so I'm feeling a bit better...Today is done (almost), three days of classes to go. My presentation went relatively well (I noticed everyone, including the professor, took notes at one point or another) and, while I was concerned I wouldn't go on long enough, that DAMNED buzzer cut me off. Here's my new list:Thu- research, work on papers, hit the road with Nicole for some catch-up around 9 or so.Fri- lunch and dinner at Nan and Gramps' house, research, work on papers, blow off some steam with the guysSat- research, work on papers, party in Boston with AdamSun- research, work on papers, finish presentation, football, cards with Nan and GrampsMon- school with Adam, WOST 311 lunch, final 311 class, final Urban Politics class, finish Ethics paperTues- final Bio class, turn in Ethics paper (due by 4:30), work on 311 paperWed- study Biotech and Urban PoliticsThu- Study Bio and Urban Pol, finish 311 paperFri- Bio exam 8:30a, Urban Pol exam 1:30p, 311 paper due by 4:30FRI NIGHT (12/16)- DIE of relief!!! Ahhhhhh... all done with my 5th semester of college!! :)After 4:30 next Friday, I don't know what I am going to do!! Other than fall into my baby's arms and never wanna leave. Okay, off to lay in bed and relieve my migraine before I work any more.

i'm offended

So yeah... lately I have been trying really hard to spend more time with my friends and boyfriend together. Right before Halloween, I invited Allegra and Sarah to come to CT with Adam, Kevin, and I. They came, we had a BLAST... at least I did! So then a few weeks ago, Allegra had a party in her room. I brought Adam, Kevin, and Jeff to the party. Allegra and I got pretty drunk, we kissed a few times. She and Kevin (also very drunk) kissed more than a few times. Anywhoo, she's hosting a late night porn party tomorrow. I emailed her to make sure everything was on for Fri and mentioned the guys, who I was under the impression that I could invite. Big mistake. Apparently, she "had a couple of people mention specifically kevin and co. as making them uncomfortable. I'm sure Adam would be ok." Well, I don't know which is worse, the fact that they feel uncomfortable by a big bumbling guy who's less harmful than a kitten or the fact that they're okay talking about my friends behind my back. I'm so hurt by the thought of what could have been said that I can't even go to Beebe for dinner tonight because I don't want to face them. I'd rather starve than risk breaking down again. This is a really bad time for this shit. This week I am REALLY stressed about school, I'm PMSing, I had horrendous dreams last n ight aboout Adam's other girlfriend, and now I have to put up with this bullshit from the people who I thought were my friends. Oh well... teaches me right for trying to devote time to friends and love. I made plans to hang out with the guys and I'm not ditching them for a croup of caddy, back talking girls who might decide to say I make them feel uncomfortable next time around.

eek

All I want is for tomorrow to be over!! Get the presentation for Ethics done and I will be a happy puppy! Just heard a song that I <3 and it made me want to cry, so I thought I'd share. :( Rascal FlatsSkin (Sarabeth)Sara Beth is scared to deathTo hear what the doctor will sayShe hasn't been well, since the day that she fellAnd the bruise just won't go awaySo she sits and she waits with her mother and dadAnd flips through an old magazineTill the nurse with the smile stands in the doorAnd says will you please come with meSara Beth is scared to deathCause the doctor just told her the newsBetween the red cells and white, something's not rightBut we're gonna take care of youSix chances in ten, it won't come back againWith the therapy we're gonna tryIt's just been approved, it's the strongest there isAnd I think that we caught it in timeAnd Sara Beth closes her eyes.Chorus:And she dreams she's dancingAround and around without any caresAnd her very first love is holding her closeAnd a soft wind is blowing her hairSara Beth is scared to deathAs she sits holding her momCause it would be a mistake for someone to takeA bald headed girl to the promFor just this morning, right here on her pillowWas the cruelest of any surpriseAnd she cried when she gathered it all in her handsThe proof that she couldn't denyAnd Sara Beth closes her eyesChorus:And she dreams she's dancingAround and around without any caresAnd her very first love is holding her closeAnd a soft wind is blowing her hairBridgeIt's quarter to seven, that boy's at the doorAnd her daddy ushers him inAnd when he takes off his capThey all start to cryCause this morning where his hair had all beenSoftly she touches just skinAnd they go dancing, around and aroundWithout any caresAnd her very first true love is holding her closeAnd for a moment she isn't scaredwow!! Okay, so I presented my abstract to my prof and she read it and DIDN'T RESPOND TO ME!!! Grrrrrrr... oh well. Leaving work in a few to see my sweetie pie and get my nails done (I HOPE) since he has no homework for tomorrow. Ahhhh...

ahhhhh

Didn't get to post all weekend, but it was a grrrrrreat weekend. White Christmas was wonderful even though I was elbowing Adam half the night to keep him awake and laughing at Matt b/c he was dozing off. This week is hella stressful for me. I killed myslef last night to finish my Biotech paper (which was 9 pages... and only supposed to be 5) and all I want to do is relax now. But... I have a presentation in class on Thursday. Research today, House Council tonight, work tomorrow morning. I'll see my baby tomorrow afternoon (and maybe convince him to take me to get my nails done), see Nan and Gramps, have dinner with the DiFonzos and relax for a little while. Friday night = late night porn party, Sat night = party at Adrienne's and dragging my honey to the Commons to look at Christmas lights, and Sunday will be crunch time (as I have a paper due Monday and a presentation in ANOTHER class. Then 3 days of no classes before finals. In other words, KILL ME!! Nah, it's really not that bad. I have my sweetie to help me through all the stress. He should be giving a presentation in Philosophy right about now, and I hope he's doing well. <3.

Whew

Yay! Mrs. DiFonzo LOVED her present! The pillow was a big hit and it's already out on display. She was so happy with it. Yay! So last night I had dinner with Mr. and Mrs. D (and Adam, of course) and then Matt came over to give mum her presents from he and Adrienne. It was a great night and I got hours of cuddle time with my baby! :) I am looking forward to this weekend so much. Going in to Boston for White Christmas, spending the WHOLE weekend with my baby relaxing and then getting ready to wind back up for finals. /sigh\ I am so luck to have a guy like him! I <3 my baby.

TeeHee

Today better be happier than yesterday! I got my first 'F' EVER yesterday [I hate bio]! Then I found out that I might not be able to go home for Christmas because airfare is double what I usually pay (around $400 right now) and I cannot afford that. So what do I do? I call my Dad! I love him so much! He's sending me money so I can go home to see my mommy and daddy and sissy, and he made me promise to spend a few days with he and Carl it ATL! Yay! Alas, he can always make me laugh by telling me stories about arguing with the crazy Baptists at work!Dad John: "Oh, it so wasn't magic. He didn't go 'poof, there's earth.' On what day did he create the sun?"Sherri: "The third"Dad John: "Oh, so if there was no sun, HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS THE THIRD DAY?!?! It could have been 4.6 BILLION YEARS DUMBASS!!"Haha!! Okay, so I am moving on with life now. Last night was great. Saw Just Friends, Derailed, and most of Good Nigh and Good Luck with my baby and had a nice lunch. Today, I'll see his mom and wish her a happy birthday and give her presents! Yay for birtdays!Going home! Dec 21- Jan 9! So excited! I miss my mommy, but I know being away from my baby is going to kill me. :'(

Okay, so I am happy, happy, happy... except for the fact that I just bombed my Bio exam! Yay for sucking at life. Here's the to do list for the next few weeks:Dec 6 Bio paper dueDec 8 Political Ethics presentationDec 11 Political Ethics paper dueDec 11 WOST presentationDec 15 WOST paper dueDec 16 Bio examDec 16 Urban Politics ExamKILL ME!! Well, I will enjoy today as best I can. My baby wants to take me to the movies this afternoon to elp me relax. Sounds good to me!